Living As A Cancer Survivor: Actions speak loudest

MarK Everett Kelly is a 29-Year Survivor of Rhabdomyosarcoma.

MarK Everett Kelly is a 29-Year Survivor of Rhabdomyosarcoma.

Most people during their lifetime will run into people who always know what to say, but never actually do it. While most of the time, those people don't affect your life, they can be very harmful when you take them seriously.

My Scars Tell a Story
By Mark Everett Kelly

I refer to those people like the "I'll be praying for you" gang. Let me explain. 

When some hear this, they think I am criticizing religion or prayer. I'm not. Many times I have uttered those words as well. I'm not referring to those of you who are sincere with your concern. Sometimes the best you can do for someone is pray for them.

During the last session of our men's group at the church I attend, I brought up this topic. Some were offended at first until I explained my meaning.

One of the worst things you can feel as a person is that you need help, primarily financial. When you can't afford rent or your cable, credit card, electric, heating, water, or phone bill is a few months behind; you feel susceptible and weak. 

Most people won't admit they need assistance. Most are too prideful and don't want to appear weak or that they need help. However, when the situation arrives where a brother or sister exposes their needs like that, it needs to be taken seriously.

When you are dealing with cancer, many things will be outside of your control. As a family member, spouse, sibling, or parent, seeing a loved one suffer is one of the worst feelings you will experience. The sentiment is mutual for the patient or survivor. 

Education. Be your own advocate!

Education. Be your own advocate!

For those of you who have "beaten" cancer, you are hoping that your ability to go back to life before will occur. However, due to the side effects of your treatment, many awful feelings of inadequacy, inferiority and panic can take over, especially if you are responsible for children or a spouse. 

If you are on the opposite side of that and a family member, close friend or spouse is suffering through a mental and physical meltdown, what you do can be helpful or detrimental. What someone DOES NOT need is phony. What they don't need is a pat on the back and lectures, especially if they come to you with a need. 

In today's society, it is hard to make yourself vulnerable. No one wants to appear as if life isn't under control. The fact is that despite outward appearances, many of your colleagues and friends might feel the same way.

The effect that you can have on another person can change their life. The opportunities you can offer someone in need can uplift them and take them out of their doldrums. 

What I tried to impress on my men's group that day is that sometimes action is the best thing you can do to help others. When you ask someone how they are doing, be prepared that they might not give you a "comfortable" answer. 

We all need to be accountable to each other. 

My prayers and thoughts are with you all.

God Bless


September 3, 2019 (Due to Labor Day I will not post on Monday)